A Blond's Year In Review

January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels...Helllloooo!!!...bottles won't fit on the printer.

March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...box said "2-4 years!"

April
Trapped on escalator for hours .... power went out!!!

May
Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June
Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm...car swamped because soft-top was open.

September
The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October
Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

December
Couldn't call 911 . "duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!

A Thought To Ponder

A man was having a conversation with God one day and said, "Jehovah, I would like to know what the difference is between The Light of your truth and The Darkness of Satan?"

Jehovah led the man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the man looked in. In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the man's mouth water. The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach the pot of stew and take a spoonful. But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back in their mouths. The man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.

The Lord said, "you have seen The Darkness."

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was a large round table with a large pot of stew which made the man's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well-nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The man said, "I don't understand."

"It is simple," said God. "It requires but one skill. You see they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves."

A Christmas Blessing

May His peace fill your heart











May His joy give you wings

may His love bring you confidence

may His hope steady you in His faithfulness,




















and God bless us everyone.

On The Mend

Five years ago I was diagnosed by a friend to have a fatal disease...I didn't even know that such a thing existed but here I was living proof. My ailment was called "techno-phobia." I had nightmares of hitting the wrong key and deleting vital information or even worse of blowing up a computer altogether (I should have never seen The Net).

I am a recovering techno-phobe and I have to force myself to try new things: branch out by doing blogs, websites and even writing books with a computer. Actually I think I could have only accomplished the feat during the age of spell and grammar check.

Whenever I get the strong urge pulling me back to a simpler time, I spend at least a few hours on the internet to counterbalance it. Alas, I must ever be vigilant. May my plight encourage others of similar mold.

Light Shines Out

I wish I could say that Christmas is a merry time for everyone but that isn't so.
Many people struggle with loneliness and depression during this time of the year.
If you are having one of those dark days remember that the babe who lay in a manger
was born at night and not during the day to give light to everyone in darkness.

"Arise (from the depression and prostration in which circumstances have kept you--rise to a new life!)
Shine (be radiant with the glory of the Lord) for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen
upon you! For behold, darkness shall cover the earth and dense darkness all peoples, but the Lord shall arise upon you and His glory shall be seen on you." Isa. 60:1,2 Amplified Bible

Hurray!

I want to congratulate my friend Melanie on her first book!
I don't have a link but if you are interested it can be purchased at Amazon.com

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Class

It rained hard last night and this morning I noticed a clump of children bending down near the basketball court. It looked like a conspiracy was brewing so I went over to inspect.

What did I find? Sweet, considerate kids full of compassion for poor wiggling worms deciding to throw them back on the verdant lawn. Not one squashed remnant did I find. Those little vermin didn't know how lucky they were--all except one however...

"Teacher, Joey* ate a worm!" one little first grade informer told me.
"He what?!" I ejaculated.
She pointed in his direction and the other kids nodded and affirmed her declaration.
The guilty victim approached with a carefree air.
"Joey, did you really eat a worm?" I bent down to look at the first grader eye-to-eye.
He nodded his head truthfully.
"Why?" I asked in utter frustration.
"Because Eddie asked me to!"
"If Eddie asked you to jump off the cliff would you do it?"
Joey's forehead furrowed as he thought about the scenario.
I wanted to scream out, the answer is NO, Joey!
The audience was there: young pliable hearts ready for a life lesson but all I wanted to do was run to the nearest exit and laugh my head off.
I really wanted to ask him what it tasted like...chicken?
No, I couldn't laugh, I didn't even smile, I did not want to encourage the behavior.
What about Joey?
He didn't get sent to the office or a note home to his parents--not even a slight tummy ache but he did get a little extra protein!

* names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Beyond All Reason

Beyond all reason there is a place
Where God can call you to fond embrace;

The mind cannot fathom
Nor intellect tell of how or where that one may dwell

In a land where the five sense no longer reign
But where the sixth has domain.

The sixth is the one the spirit senses
The world of the spirit's unseen abode:

That is one with God and all creation
Which is its natural heavenly home.

Time no longer an enemy
Death no longer a foe
Hate no longer a way of life
Fear no longer a road

For time is lost in Your loving arms
And death is but a friend
Who'll usher in the greatest age
My soul has ever been

Hate is swallowed up in love
And fear but a bit of strain
That through its trials has wrought fine gold
And through it Your bride is trained.

A Perfect 44

I'm in one of my moods; now that doesn't mean what you think it does! When I get moody it usually means silly, crazy, mischievous or any combination thereof. I blame it entirely on the Manufacturer--He wired me this way!

I was speaking today with a co-worker who was interested in getting her BA degree and that got me thinking about my own. An AA in psychology means that I can psychoanalyze moderately well. My BA in theology means that I understand dogma and the Bible even better but the place where I really shine is psychoanalyzing biblical characters.

I took an evaluation and found out that I'm a 44. No, that is not my IQ or my age...it is my score on a Dr. Phil's personality something-or-other test.

This is the description of those who are 44: "Others see you as fresh (but not rude), lively, charming, amusing, practical and always interesting. Someone who's constantly in the center of attention (God forbid!), but sufficiently well-balanced to let it not go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate and understanding, someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out."

Now there are so many wonderful accolades in the preceding statement but the only one that really mattered was
WELL-BALANCED. If Dr. Phil thinks I'm mentally fit then I don't care who thinks I'm crazy!

True Beauty

True Beauty

True beauty awakens in me
fragrance of immortality:
I see it in the face of a child,
hear it in a line of music,
or read it till it fills my soul.

All true beauty affects me in the same way:
it starts as an ache,
builds to a longing,
till it overflows into tears unrestrained.

It is not the rose I want
but something beyond it.

We Are Shaped

We are shaped by what we love.
Our sight is formed by what we see.
Our heart is molded by what we hold on to.
Our imagination is baptized by where we linger.

Like the Elves

I’m like the Elves.

I love the night.

I love the stars.

I love the stillness of a forest.

The sound of water

is like music to me

And whenever I hear a seagull cry

I am wistful for the sea.

How You Commit

Bitterly blows the wind on the barrenness of Mordor.
Sweetly soothes the breeze on Lorthlorien’s elanor.

Chilling to the mind are the shrieks as Nazguls fly.
Thrilling to the heart are the eagle’s joyous cries.

Noisy is the pit that Saruman has made.
Quiet is the peace of Rivendell’s leafy shade.

The earth responds in kind to all that is done in it.
Nightmare or paradise depends on how you commit.

NEED

Hard exterior yet tender of heart
Strider, wander…may your loneliness depart.
Life shaped you this way but it was never your intent
through years of hardship your journey went.
Till you found yourself in Bree’s Prancing Pony Inn
where your adventure with four Hobbits would begin.
Cautious they were till they began to understand
your heart for them…even though a lonely man.
Gandalf understood the need they would have of you
but it worked both ways, for you needed them too.

TREES WIN

Merry and Pippin seem more trouble than they’re worth
until they meet an Ent of considerable girth.
They stir up a folk who have never been hasty
and that is quite a feat in itself.

They bring an unexpected cavalry
to break up Saruman’s party.
For every twig and branch
that cries out for revenge…
it’s the only story where the trees win in the end.

WHICH WAY DO WE GO?

They were shaped by unseen forces
that found its way into their own choices.
Have they the light of Valinor?
Or the twisted shape of Melkor?
Kindred they would more than prove
by something else than their own mood.
It’s an inward being in the core
that reveals itself on outward shores.
The imprint of their master they’ll show
by the direction they choose to go.
The fork is not on Middle-earth’s map.
It’s found in the heart like an eternal gap
that forever separates Mordor from the West.
We can languish in darkness or choose to rest.

Reconciled

I grew up hating my name. There are lots of reasons but the one that sticks out the most is when kids called me "Helllllllllllen" or just plain "Hell" or sometimes "Helen-melon." I didn't get reconciled to my birth name until I found out what it meant. This monumental discovery came from a college friend who also had the unfortunate moniker. She also confessed to her aversion until she learned that the name was Greek in origin and meant "light."

That revelation changed everything for me. It reminded me of one of my favorite scriptures: "Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars for ever and ever." Dan. 12:3

Now I don't like being referred to as hades; I much prefer light which is also the meaning of "Hiraki" in Japanese. So if you are like me and have had difficulty with your name you may want to look up the meaning...who knows what you will discover?

We Remember

To all veterans everywhere

we will never forget:

from my father's generation
(standing on the left)

to the newest generation

we thank you for your sacrifice
and pray for your safe return.

A Peculiar Blend

A few mornings ago I was listening to Beethoven's sixth symphony as I was driving to work but just so that you won't misunderstand me, for highbrow I am not...I ended the same day with a decadent delight off Youtube. Are you a bit curious what a morning of classical music would be topped off with? What flavor was I in the mood for? Hmmm, you probably wouldn't guess in a hundred years so I'll make my grand confession now--I had to watch the Muppets. I was dying to hear the Mehna-mehna song. Never heard it before? You have no idea how much you are missing. I can be serious and deep at times but lurking at my core is an undercurrent of absolute zaniness. Are you tracking with me?

I love the majestic, the grand, the raw
power of nature.









but who could resist a massage
and morning java?

Ah, the sweet moments at the end
of the day when a boy and his dog
unite in holy petitions before the Lord
in heaven--who would not be moved
by such earnest goodness?












But then this perverse thing comes
over me and I throw all sweetness
to the wind.

The Heavens Declare

When I consider Your heavens,

the work of Your fingers,
the moon and the stars which You have set in place
what is man that You are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?

Ps. 8:3,4

I’M NO MYSTERY TO YOU

You understand why I love the stars.
You know me and share my joy.
You know why the tears start to flow
when something beautiful
touches me deep down inside
I am no mystery to You!

REACH FOR THE STARS

To reach for the stars with my feet on earth.
“Impossible” you say, yet I know it’s the truth.
For of myself the highest I can reach is but two feet over my head.
Yet through God I can reach up to the stars and even further yet.

A Vision

When I lived in San Francisco God gave me a vision while I was worshiping the Lord one day. I saw myself in front of a cave entrance that was small and in order to go inside, I had to crawl on all fours. I did so and felt the floor of the cavern; it was gritty and full of small pebbles. I filled my pockets with the pebbles and went back out into the sunshine. When I got outside and checked my pockets I drew out what I had thought were pebbles and found uncut jewels instead.

I didn't understand the vision and asked the Lord to reveal to me what He meant by it. This scripture came to mind "I will give you treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places..." Isaiah 45:3 and I knew what God was trying to tell me was that He would give me the ability to see the beauty in people that others would just assume are throw aways.

God sees the true treasure that you are in the darkness. You may not see yourself that way but He does and when He brings you out into the light everyone will see it.

I want to see people with His eyes and treasure what He treasures. I think that is what made Mother Teresa the kind of person she was but then she was only walking in the footsteps of Jesus who loved the unlovely.

In Praise of Good Husbands

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his
company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker,
but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't
even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he
was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first
thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of
water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks
around the room and sees that it is in perfect order,
spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye
staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices
a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red
with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in
lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get
groceries! to m ake you your favorite dinner tonight.
I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot
breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating.
Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M. , drunk and out of your
mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and
then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when
you ran into the door.
Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such
perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is
on the table waiting for me??"
His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,
"Leave me alone, I'm married!!"

Broken Coffee Table $239.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirins $.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time . .. PRICELESS

Irresistable

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten.

We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?"

She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one.."

She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there.

The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.

She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked "is there a 710 on this car?"

She pointed and said, "Of course, its right there."

Target Practice

Every time I am offended or hurt
or feel sorry for myself

I know what has been the target
carefully aimed at by God…my pride.

After every arrow has been plucked out
I see better what You were centering on.

Pride is blind to its own existence.
The pain I feel after these lessons is to realize
that pride in me has always been Your target.

The pain I feel is there to wake me up to its presence.
You have been aiming at a hot-air balloon
because pride is full of itself.

Deflate me till I hit the ground of reality!

DISCIPLINE

We look to God for pleasure but deny His hands bring pain.
How can pride without pain? Hos. 6:1

We look to God to build us up but deny He tears us down.
How can He add to a faulty structure? Ps. 127:1

We look to God for fruitfulness but deny He will cut.
How can fruit come without pruning? Jn. 15:1,2

THE SOURCE

There is a love that is deeper
than the one emotions can flame.

It finds its source in its loved one
whether in desert or rain.

It goes beyond the surface of feeling
down into the deepest commitment.

Here the hail, wind and storm
cannot disturb its sweet contentment.

All Natural

Yes, I must admit that it doesn't happen every day that I can capture a Rocky mountain goat and my family taking a break from a hike at the same time but still I must make a confession. I know envy is not a good quality but honesty is: so here's the bottom line--I'm going to be honest about my envy...

I wish I was better at taking wildlife photography.







The Shot I Took

I like capturing wildlife in a more contemplative
relaxed state but doe a deer is easy
to get on film compared with...








The Shot I Wish I Took

a polar bear catching the rays and getting a tan.









The Shot I Took

If you are going to check out an ice flow....









The Shot I Wish I Took
then check out the ice flow.








Wildlife photographers are amazing because they are patient and can wait for the perfect shot. The lighting, setting and animals must all be caught in their most natural state. To find a sleeping polar bear, a penguin ready to make beautiful music and another to be wearing the right accessories is just awe inspiring...I mean, think of the odds of that happening! It must be astronomical!

A Few of My Favorite Things

The Incredible Edible Egg

A thing of beauty is a joy forever

(all these eggs were done by lasers...imagine that!)






Forget a flying carpet, give me Pegasus any day!





Oh Holy Night the star was brightly shining!














A rose by any other name would still
smell as sweet...

Drink your medicine

"A cheerful heart is good medicine," Prov. 17:22 says so consider this your spoonful for the day!

Asthma doesn't seem to bother me any more unless I'm around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar.
Steve Allen

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
Robin Williams

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
Red Skelton

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.
Bob Hope

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Phyllis Diller

I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
Rodney Dangerfield

Yes, I know that there are many other comics out there but I chose these ones because this is a G-rated website, so give me a paper cut and pour lemon juice on it!

A Dream

I had a dream a few years ago and in it I saw a very elegant restaurant filled with people. Each table was filled except one where a man was sitting alone. This table was in the center of the room and was very large with the man sitting at the head. This man paid for everyone’s meal and it was made known to all in the room.

There were loud exclamations and people turned to look at him. Many came over to thank him and humbly accepted his payment. I saw a man with his family ask this kind stranger, “Why did you pay for our meal when we don’t even know you?” “Because I love you,” he said. They were amazed but saw the love in his eyes and asked if they could sit at his table and talk with him. He nodded with a smile and soon his table was filled with people.

Others were insulted by this man. They felt interfered with and were very suspicious. Their pride would not let them accept this free gift. They did not want to feel obligated to anyone. Their indignation mounted to anger and hatred. They went to his table and yelled at him. Some spit on his face because they were so enraged. This man still desired them to accept his gift but they refused every entreaty. They seemed pleased in the fact that they could refuse him. This man kept following them with his compassionate eyes as these people retreated from his table to pay the cashier themselves. He kept calling them back to come to his table and they kept refusing to hear him.

When they came to pay the bill, they again refused to have the cashier accept the man’s generous offer. The cashier rang up each of their bills. It came up to tens of thousands of dollars each. Their faces paled because no one had enough to pay what they owed. The dream faded and in that dreaming, waking state, I asked the Lord what it meant.

He said, “I am the man who paid for everyone’s meal. The table I am sitting at is the kingdom of heaven. Those who are humble and grateful are able to let Me pay the tab for their sins. Each individual sits at the table of their life and eats of their own doing. You truly are what you eat. You can only change your diet when you eat from My table. I give the invitation and all hear and know it, but as you have seen there are still those who reject My free gift and choose to do it themselves. When they find out they do not have enough to pay their debt--it will be too late.”
I woke up with the picture still vivid in my mind and wrote it out as best as I could recall it.

Eternal Optimist

Man says, “Impossible.”
God says, “Wait and see.”

Man sees a monstrous trial.
God sees victory.

Man says, “Lord, I quit.”
God says, “Son, I can’t.”

Man sees barren hearts.
God says, “Love I’ll plant.”

God is the Eternal Optimist.
New hope shall He bring
Even through our muted tune
A new song shall we sing.

UNQUENCHABLE LOVE

“Many waters cannot quench love. Neither can the floods drown it.”

Song of Solomon 8:7

Your love is a fire of passion
that can never be extinguished.

Not all the cold hearts in the world
could freeze such a love!

Not all the deadness in mankind
could kill such a life!

Not all the darkness in the universe
could conquer such a light.

You warm cold hearts.
You raise the dead.
You pierce the darkness.

Nothing You are -
nothing You do
nothing You give

can be overcome.

Thirst Quencher

When He comes, He will open the eyes of the blind
and unplug the ears of the deaf.
The lame will leap like a deer,
and those who cannot speak will sing for joy!

The parched ground will become a pool,
and springs of water will satisfy the thirsty land. Isa. 35:6,7





When the poor and need search for water and there is none,
and their tongues are parched from thirst,
then I, the Lord, will answer them...I will open up
rivers for them on the high plateaus.
I will fill the desert with pools of water.
Rivers fed by springs will flow across the parched ground.

Isa. 41:17,18



The Lord will guide you continually,
giving you water when you are dry
and restoring your strength.

You will be like a well-watered garden,
like an ever-flowing spring.

Isa. 58:11



As the deer longs for streams of water,
so I long for you, O God.

I thirst for God, the living God.
When can I go and stand before Him?

Ps. 42:1,2