Annie Get Your Gun

There they stood: youthful, confident, smiling. My first reaction was surprise...what were teens doing with machine guns and rifles? I blinked, did a double-take and then duh...it hit me--I'm in Israel. You blooming idiot, I thought to myself. Every eighteen year old must join the IDF (Israeli Defense Force) including women.

Yes, you read that right...teenage girls with estrogen eruptions armed to the teeth. Now have I got your attention? I thought so!

Now I have no problem with females so armed, but I noticed that a few of the men in our tour group were wiping sweat off their brow. Maybe it wasn't because girls younger than their own daughters had rifles strung over their shoulders--the reason could have been that it was over a hundred degrees in the shade but I like to think that it was both.

Depending on how strong a female's cycle can be...PMS not only stands for the obvious: it can also mean Premeditated Man-Slaughter. If you are a thoughtful, rational man you'll remember the acronym. Remember to be forewarned is to be forearmed.

Why am I so considerate of the male gender and would give them a heads up? Maybe its because I grew up with two brothers or maybe its because I had an aversion to the feminist of the 1970's. Anyway, grab the advice while its hot.

If any of you are thinking about visiting Israel--don't hesitate. Let me assure you that the media makes it seem danger lurks everywhere but it is much safer than they let on. How do I know? I have the proof of my own eyes. Our guide took us up to the Golan Heights and lo and behold the vaunted, noble, distinguished United Nations compound was on the Israeli side and not Syria. Maybe they know something that the media does not.

If that doesn't convince you then let me comfort you with the fact there are still teenage girls armed with real weapons and ammo. Trust me, after the first initial surprise--you'll get used to it.