Building a Bridge

I'm passionate about shopping...I HATE it! I shop like a guy: I go, get it and get out quick. I don't care about bargains. If I want or need it I'll pay the price.

Now God has a sense of humor because He gave me a mother who lives to shop--it is her life's blood. She's a seasoned campaigner. The following is a true incident:

Setting: JoAnne's Fabrics
Time: 8 years ago
Background: approaching the counter with my mother.
Dialog or dialogue (if you are old fashioned)

mom: "There is a tiny rip at the edge of this fabric."
me: "Can't you just cut it off when you get home?"
mom: "I'm going to ask for a discount."

I take a fugitive glance behind me. There are at least five impatient women who want to finish their purchases so they can get home to start sewing.

mom to lady at counter: "See this tiny rip?"
The lady bends down for a closer inspection to see the microscopic tear.
mom: "May I get a discount?"
The counter lady is a little flustered, "Um, I'm not sure; let me call for the manager."
me: "Just pay the price!" I beg my obstinate parent.

I hear impatient sighs behind me and the five minutes it took for the manager to show up seemed like an eternity being stretched on the racks. Now my mother had the joy of convincing the manager while I began to wipe sweat off my upper lip.

mom: "How much of a discount can I get?"
The manager pauses in thought.
me: "Look, I'll pay the difference...can we just get out of here?"
I hear chuckles behind me. I don't bother to look because I know I won't get any sympathy.

So what was the outcome of the whole ordeal? My mother saved 50cents! She left JoAnne's with her head held high while mine was bowed in abject humiliation.

I write about the whole incident with feeling because it is still branded on my soul. I know there are men out there who understand.

Now that I've alienated 90% of my feminine readers how can I build a bridge to them? By casting myself on their mercy and better natures: have pity on this wretched black sheep that has left the fold. Even though I only go to the mall once or twice a year it is still a marked improvement from my younger days.

Though I am not always in sync with sisterhood I take great joy that Jesus understands people like me...

"If you decide for God...it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds. Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion (Amen! oops I'll try not to make anymore side comments!) do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop (Hallelujah! sorry, I did it again!) but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them." (Matt. 6: 25-29 The Message)