A Vision

When I lived in San Francisco God gave me a vision while I was worshiping the Lord one day. I saw myself in front of a cave entrance that was small and in order to go inside, I had to crawl on all fours. I did so and felt the floor of the cavern; it was gritty and full of small pebbles. I filled my pockets with the pebbles and went back out into the sunshine. When I got outside and checked my pockets I drew out what I had thought were pebbles and found uncut jewels instead.

I didn't understand the vision and asked the Lord to reveal to me what He meant by it. This scripture came to mind "I will give you treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places..." Isaiah 45:3 and I knew what God was trying to tell me was that He would give me the ability to see the beauty in people that others would just assume are throw aways.

God sees the true treasure that you are in the darkness. You may not see yourself that way but He does and when He brings you out into the light everyone will see it.

I want to see people with His eyes and treasure what He treasures. I think that is what made Mother Teresa the kind of person she was but then she was only walking in the footsteps of Jesus who loved the unlovely.

In Praise of Good Husbands

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his
company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker,
but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't
even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he
was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first
thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of
water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks
around the room and sees that it is in perfect order,
spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye
staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices
a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red
with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in
lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get
groceries! to m ake you your favorite dinner tonight.
I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot
breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating.
Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M. , drunk and out of your
mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and
then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when
you ran into the door.
Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such
perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is
on the table waiting for me??"
His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,
"Leave me alone, I'm married!!"

Broken Coffee Table $239.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirins $.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time . .. PRICELESS

Irresistable

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten.

We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?"

She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one.."

She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there.

The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.

She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked "is there a 710 on this car?"

She pointed and said, "Of course, its right there."

Target Practice

Every time I am offended or hurt
or feel sorry for myself

I know what has been the target
carefully aimed at by God…my pride.

After every arrow has been plucked out
I see better what You were centering on.

Pride is blind to its own existence.
The pain I feel after these lessons is to realize
that pride in me has always been Your target.

The pain I feel is there to wake me up to its presence.
You have been aiming at a hot-air balloon
because pride is full of itself.

Deflate me till I hit the ground of reality!

DISCIPLINE

We look to God for pleasure but deny His hands bring pain.
How can pride without pain? Hos. 6:1

We look to God to build us up but deny He tears us down.
How can He add to a faulty structure? Ps. 127:1

We look to God for fruitfulness but deny He will cut.
How can fruit come without pruning? Jn. 15:1,2

THE SOURCE

There is a love that is deeper
than the one emotions can flame.

It finds its source in its loved one
whether in desert or rain.

It goes beyond the surface of feeling
down into the deepest commitment.

Here the hail, wind and storm
cannot disturb its sweet contentment.

All Natural

Yes, I must admit that it doesn't happen every day that I can capture a Rocky mountain goat and my family taking a break from a hike at the same time but still I must make a confession. I know envy is not a good quality but honesty is: so here's the bottom line--I'm going to be honest about my envy...

I wish I was better at taking wildlife photography.







The Shot I Took

I like capturing wildlife in a more contemplative
relaxed state but doe a deer is easy
to get on film compared with...








The Shot I Wish I Took

a polar bear catching the rays and getting a tan.









The Shot I Took

If you are going to check out an ice flow....









The Shot I Wish I Took
then check out the ice flow.








Wildlife photographers are amazing because they are patient and can wait for the perfect shot. The lighting, setting and animals must all be caught in their most natural state. To find a sleeping polar bear, a penguin ready to make beautiful music and another to be wearing the right accessories is just awe inspiring...I mean, think of the odds of that happening! It must be astronomical!

A Few of My Favorite Things

The Incredible Edible Egg

A thing of beauty is a joy forever

(all these eggs were done by lasers...imagine that!)






Forget a flying carpet, give me Pegasus any day!





Oh Holy Night the star was brightly shining!














A rose by any other name would still
smell as sweet...

Drink your medicine

"A cheerful heart is good medicine," Prov. 17:22 says so consider this your spoonful for the day!

Asthma doesn't seem to bother me any more unless I'm around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar.
Steve Allen

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
Robin Williams

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
Red Skelton

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.
Bob Hope

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Phyllis Diller

I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
Rodney Dangerfield

Yes, I know that there are many other comics out there but I chose these ones because this is a G-rated website, so give me a paper cut and pour lemon juice on it!